things are getting better
this is all getting easier
it all makes sense to me now
I'm starting to feel like I know what I'm doing
I see bright things on the near horizon
I feel like it's all downhill from here
coast to the finish line
It'll be here in no time
I'm great at this

but...
for everything I figure out
or for everything I do well,
there is another layer, level of things to take into account
I'm still prone to waking up on the weekend heavy with tears
and things I'm not sure I can face
if anything it's harder because there's always a next thing
I still feel like I'm conducting a chemistry experiment with unlabled vials
under strict observation, with expertise expected
I'm starting to feel like a goldfish being watched by cats
I just want to believe that there is a horizon, that I might make it there
this is an uphill battle, every step
and progress is not guarenteed
*just let this end*
let me survive this